Dear Addy: Long Distance Dilemma

Dear Addy,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend, John Doe, for a year now. Going away to college is the first time that we’ve had to have a long distance relationship. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not doing long distance is even worth it. It’s different from what we’re used to, and honestly, I don’t know how long this is going to last. I’m hoping you can help me figure that out. Thanks!

Sincerely,

Jane Doe

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Hey, Jane Doe!

Thanks for reaching out; it takes a lot of courage to ask for advice. You seem to be in a tough situation; it’s understandable why you’re feeling this way. In general, relationships have their ups and downs. Adding the factor of long distance can definitely make the downs seem more frequent than the ups.

Before you ask yourself whether this relationship is worth it or not, take some time to ponder your relationship and how you truly feel about John Doe.

Some questions to think about are: Do you talk every day? How do you feel when you do get the chance to talk? When you see his name pop up on your phone, what is your initial reaction? Does the relationship feel like a chore or something that comes naturally? Do you feel comfortable enough to talk to him about anything?

If you answered “yes” to this last question, you should talk to John about how you’re both feeling, because he might be having these thoughts as well.

If you answered “no” to this last question, this might be something you two need to work on if you’re willing to. If you’re not willing to, then that’s when you need to ask yourself if this is worth it or not.

Just remember, everyone experiences relationships in different ways. The most important thing you could carry with you is communication. I’m rooting for you, feel free to write back any time!

All the best,

            Addy

 

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