I’m Here and You’re Home

Image courtesy of: Livesadvice.com

 By: Victoria Kuhr

 The problem with long distance relationships is one person is at home while the other is away at college, or both are away at different colleges that are nowhere near each other.

No matter how strong a relationship is, strain occurs with not having the opportunity to see a significant other for an extended period of time. One does not know what the other is doing, visa-vi.

Communication becomes stressful with the added pressure from those who try to offer their advice on relationships. No one wants to hear it, but it has to be emphasized. Communication is the key. If you do not talk with each other, can you actually consider yourself to be in a relationship?

When away at college, communicating with a boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean it is necessary to speak to them “all day, every day.” But talking when you are having a bad day, if there are any doubts, or if there is someone else, is crucial. However, a reminder of utmost importance is to keep the relationship strong, and reaffirm that you both are on the same page.

There is nothing stopping you from going out partying every now and then with a group of friends. But doing something you would regret or not feel appropriate to tell your significant other is not ideal. Thinking of your significant other hanging out with close friends could make your stomach churn, which is normal if you truly care. What is not normal is hounding them for details of what they are doing, where they are doing it, and whom they are with. Red flags like these should be brought up. There needs to be a certain level of trust establish between a couple. No trust means no relationship. It is that simple.

A good question, if problems arise to the point of self-consumption, is “how do you breakup with someone?” Studying far away from each other when relationship drama comes up is perfect for those who are avoiders. All they have to do is ignore you or block off all contact. It is not ideal, and surely is terrible if this situation happens or has happened to you. But it can show you the real kind of person you had been with all along, and help you learn to not fall for the same type of person in the future.

Ending a relationship without direct confrontation could be easily done over the phone or over video chat, which are the most reasonable and courteous options.  However, via a text, and finding out through a friend or social media, are lowly ways to approach it and are not recommended by any means. Do the stand up thing, and let him or her actually hear you end it.

If you are not in a relationship, this does not mean you will be deprived of socialization. Take advantage of the opportunities you have to meet people on campus. Explore the world freely.

Do not limit yourself because a long distance relationship may have altered your perception of the dating scene and your own self-image. Sometimes, the best way to make friends is to be a friend to your self first.